In a cozy weekend getaway, a woman’s suitcase overflows with carefully chosen Sephora treasures—each bottle and cream a small indulgence she cherishes. Yet at her boyfriend’s home, her belongings become easy targets for his three teenage daughters, leaving her feeling like a guest in a chaotic free-for-all. At 30, she’s navigating a relationship with a 54-year-old father who fails to set clear boundaries, forcing her to cover date nights while watching her prized items disappear into teen hands. The hurt runs deeper than empty perfume bottles—it’s the unspoken expectation that she’ll just replace them without complaint. As frustrations mount, she questions if her kindness has turned her into a doormat. This story of blurred boundaries and silent assumptions invites us into a modern challenge: how do you assert respect when love and boundaries are out of balance?

Which I probably would do but were still getting to know eachother (me and his girls) and I don't want then to pretend to like me just because I buy them things. They've also almost finished all my creams, perfume and lip products that I left at his place and he told me that's his fault because he told them they can use my stuff.

Which is fine but why didn't he ask me first...I would have said yes. The fact that he made that decision without asking is what's making me mad. I've also noticed that I've been paying everytime we go out, he uses to offer to pay but now it's like he just expects me to do it...

Lastly, last night his youngest daughter decided to take a bath and she used the entire bottle of shower gel (600ml) that I left there...and his response was he's sorry but it's just a shower gel I can get a new one...shouldn't he at least offer to replace it for me. How would this make you guys feel? I'm not sure if I'm the one that being unreasonable

Blending families can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield of expectations and assumptions. In this case, the woman’s struggle highlights a clash of boundaries and respect in a relationship complicated by an age gap and financial dynamics. Her boyfriend’s casual permission for his daughters to use her belongings, paired with his expectation that she’ll fund outings, suggests a troubling imbalance. The daughters, caught in their own teenage world, may not realize the impact, but his inaction as a parent sets the stage for disrespect. This situation reflects a broader issue: the importance of boundaries in blended families. According to a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, 60% of blended families face conflicts over differing expectations around roles and responsibilities (soucre). Here, the boyfriend’s failure to consult his partner before allowing access to her items undermines her autonomy, while his daughters’ entitled behavior risks escalating tensions. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, emphasizes mutual respect: “In healthy relationships, partners honor each other’s individuality and boundaries, even in small matters like personal belongings” (soucre). Applied here, Gottman’s insight suggests the boyfriend’s dismissiveness—brushing off a used 600ml shower gel as “just” a product—signals a deeper lack of regard. His assumption that she’ll absorb the cost, both emotionally and financially, points to a dynamic where her role is more provider than partner. The age gap may amplify this, with Reddit users speculating he sees her as a “sugar mama,” a dynamic she must confront to restore balance. To move forward, she should initiate a calm, clear conversation, ideally during their Valentine’s Day plans, as she mentioned. Framing it with “I feel” statements—like “I feel hurt when my belongings are used without asking”—can open dialogue without blame. Setting firm boundaries, such as keeping personal items at her own home or locking them away, reinforces her autonomy. She might also propose splitting date night costs to reset financial expectations. Encouraging the daughters to earn their own Sephora hauls could foster respect and independence.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of sass and sympathy for our frustrated heroine. Here are the top reactions: pamelaonthego − So he’s old enough to be your dad but treats you like you are his sugar mummy

pamelaonthego − So he’s old enough to be your dad but treats you like you are his sugar mummy

gringaellie − he's 24 years older than you and expecting you to bankroll date nights and his kids sephora habits? Bye, boy!

Piilootus − You're not unreasonable. You're being used by everyone in that household.

bellamellayellafella − Sounds like a family of users to me. The boyfriend apparently has gotten comfortable enough to start showing his true colors.

Jen5872 − Either stop leaving your things at his place or d**p him altogether. He doesn't sound like a good boyfriend.

DefDemi − You must be desperate. Why would you allow this old deadbeat to use you like this? Come on , get some self-respect and d**p the old loser.

kathryn_sedai − That’s gross, people should not share cosmetics and teen girls should learn that before they get an eye infection or something. They’re all being entitled, and, not to be a cliched Reddit user, but there are definitely red flags here. If they don’t respect your possessions, why would they respect you?

Also DO NOT take them to Sephora, just in general, but especially not without a HARD LIMIT on how much they would be spending. It’s easy to ring up a lot of money there and they sound like they would do so easily.

delilahgrass − Why on earth are you with him? You’re his hot young sugar mama and now partial nanny? He really lucked out. You on the other hand seem to have your s**t together(apart from this sorry excuse for a relationship) and are wasting your prime years on a middle aged toddler.

[Reddit User] − The d**k is not that worth it. Loose the loser and his baggage.

These hot takes are spicy, but do they capture the full picture, or is there more to this family dynamic? This Reddit saga leaves us pondering the delicate dance of love, respect, and boundaries in blended families. The woman’s story isn’t just about vanishing shower gel—it’s about standing up for her worth in a relationship where assumptions run rampant. As she gears up for a heart-to-heart this Valentine’s Day, her next steps could redefine her role in this family. What would you do if your belongings and wallet were treated as communal property? Drop your thoughts below and share how you’d navigate this sticky situation!